So That Pain Does Not End as Pain

평범한 하루를 살아간다는 것이 누군가에게는 평생 바라온 기적이라는 것을 알기까지, 배우 권오중이 자신의 내밀한 이야기를 꺼내놓는다. 첫 에세이인 이 책에는 아들 혁준의 희귀질환, 준비되지 않은 남편으로서의 시간, 배우로 살아온 날들, 신앙과 봉사, 술과 방종, 실패와 좌절까지 담았다. 뜻대로 되지 않는 삶 속에서 자신을 돌아보며 조금 더 나은 사람이 되고자 노력한 한 사람의 고백이다.

병명조차 알 수 없던 아들을 데리고 수많은 병원과 치료 센터의 문을 두드렸지만, 끝내 맞닥뜨린 것은 치료법도 임상 자료도 없는 희귀질환이었다. 아들의 아픔을 없애달라고 매달리던 시간은 권오중의 삶도 바꿔놓았다. 기도하는 마음으로 시작한 봉사를 통해 저마다의 아픔을 안고 살아가는 사람들을 만났고, 정작 위로받고 치유받은 사람은 자신이었다고 돌아본다.

긴 시간을 지나 아들 혁준은 이제 ‘권혁준 작가’로 그림을 그리고 있다. 권오중 역시 더 이상 ‘완치’만을 바라보느라 오늘을 놓치지 않는다. 아픔을 지나 모든 것을 극복했다고 말하는 대신, 뜻대로 되지 않는 삶 속에서도 소중한 사람을 놓치지 않는 법과 아픔을 안고 다시 살아가는 법을 뒤늦게 배운 과정을 전한다.

Actor Kwon Oh-joong opens up about his most intimate personal experiences, reflecting on how long it took him to realize that living an ordinary day is a miracle that some people have wished for all their lives. His first essay collection shares the story of his son Hyuk-jun’s rare disease, his years as an unprepared husband, his life as an actor, his faith and volunteer work, as well as his struggles with alcohol, reckless behavior, failure, and despair. It is the honest confession of a man who, amid a life that did not go as planned, has continually looked inward and tried to become a better person.

Taking his son, whose condition was initially undiagnosed, from one hospital and treatment center to another, he eventually confronted the reality of a rare disease for which there was neither a cure nor clinical data. The years he spent desperately pleading for his son’s suffering to be taken away transformed Kwon Oh-joong’s own life as well. Through volunteer work that began as an expression of prayer, he met people living with pain of their own. Looking back, he realizes that he was the one who ultimately received comfort and healing.

After many long years, his son Hyuk-jun is now creating art as “artist Kwon Hyuk-jun.” Kwon Oh-joong, too, no longer lets his hope for a “complete cure” cause him to miss the present moment. Rather than claiming to have overcome everything after enduring suffering, he shares the journey through which he belatedly learned how to hold on to the people he cherishes, even when life does not go as planned, and how to keep living while carrying pain.